Yuki's entry
by Unforgotten3
Summary: Yuki finds one of his old diary's. Read as we go through his life, past and future.
1. Chapter 1

A.N.~ New at this type of writing so bare with me. Trying to go more dark on this than my other writings, and to my enjoyment hoping to add more yuka into in the near future. Feedbacks are appreciated to the full, good or bad. Suggestions welcomed.

Disclaimer: Dont own any of this, wish i did though =P

Entry 1

Dear, Diary

Diary I don't know how talking, or I guess writing to you right now to be exact, is going to help me. It's not like you can talk to me, or answer any of the questions I scribble down on this piece of paper, and if you could I'd doubt you would be of any help. The reason I'm even righting any of this down right now is because Kanata gave you to me. You see, I just turned 12 years old yesterday, and Kanata gave you to me as a present. He said that you would help if I got lonely. I didn't think that, that was possible with him here at the orphanage with me, but I also didn't think that Kanata would ever leave me. He went to a university to day, he also moved out, saying something about needing to be closer to school. I don't believe him though, just like I don't think you'll be of any use to me Diary. Everyone leaves me eventually, and I'll always be lonely. I'm sad, maybe even a little angry that he left but I wont say anything cause I need to be strong and not cause trouble for anybody here. Right now I have a plan though, I'll make it look like I'm alight and keep smiling even when I want to cry, but I am not a baby anymore! Any way journal, I'll stick with you for now but I got to go to bed soon, schools tomorrow, night.

Yuki

May 7th 2002


	2. Chapter 2

Entry 15

Dear Dairy,

Ever since Kanata left all the kids have started to look up to me. I have to be strong for them now to. So far everything's fine, everyone thinks I'm doing great ever since Kanata left and I made a new friend, my only friend to tell you the truth. I'm really happy though cause he's the first one to come up and talk to me in a long time. I hope I don't screw this up, wish me luck…

Yuki,

May 17, 2002

P.S. I have been having these weird dreams. I can't remember any of them but, I have a feeling as if I should be scared.?


	3. Chapter 3

Entry 56

Dear Dairy,

Some things happened. Dairy , although we've been together for awhile now, I haven't told you everything. I have a secret. This is the first time I've told someone who I can trust, cause let's face it, you wont tell anyone. O.K., so the truth is… I can feel, and see things. It's not like ghosts or anything like that but, it's hard to explain. Maybe you would understand better if I told you what happened.

I messed up, you remember the friend I told you about? Well it involves him to. I really wish this didn't happen you see, cause me and Uzuki-kun have been great friends, and I even started to make some new ones, everything was going great till **that**, happened. Uzuki-kun and I were hanging out by the school garden as usual during lunch, nothing new. We were almost done when one of his bento box covers flew away, we both reached for it when our hand touched. This was my first mistake. The moment our hands made contact, I could see all the things that happened to him when he was younger, for example, like when his mother tried to strangle him, and worse. Next thing I knew was that I was crying, it wasn't my fault! it was just too sad, I couldn't help it. Anyway, I ended up saying something stupid that might have hurt him even more. It's been a few days since then and he Uzuki-kun wont even look at me! This always happens. I've lost another friend and if word gets out, no one will want to be even near me… I'm alone, again.

Yuki

June 5th, 2002

P.S. Kanata called, only good thing of the week. 


	4. Chapter 4

Entry 73

Dear Dairy,

Why was I born?

Yuki,

June 30,th 2002

P.S. This might be the last time I write to you. Thanks for always listening.

Yuki closed the cover of the diary with shaky breath, he remembered that day well. It was the first and last time he tried to kill himself. Uzuki-kun didn't want to be his friend anymore, Kanata was to busy to call, and the dreams were getting worse, so was his powers. It started to become to much to handle. He just wanted it to end, for once. He decided that night before his last entry what he was going to do. It took some attempts but he finally got it right. The air was crisp, sweat slowly gilded down his shirt, weather it was from the blazing afternoon sun or the fear that crept into his gut like a snake, he didn't know and he didn't care. 

There he stood motionless', staring out at the crosswalk sign as it turned green, letting people pass. Hs heart hummed in his ears as the light once again turned red. He couldn't remember exactly what happened after that, only the heavy pounding of his feet as it hit the pavement, and the screams that filled his ears as he stared silently at the clear blue sky, slowly fading into darkness. He had been told that he had been in a coma for 3 weeks since then. He woke to the sound of the foster children crying by his bed side along with the elders, even Kanata had stopped by continuously after classes. No one asked him what happened or why, they just held him close in their arms, tears of joy fading into his hair. It was then that he decided to stay alive, there were people who needed him, that was enough to ask for.

Thinking back to the promise he had made so many years ago, Yuki laid back in bed mindful of Sodom that peacefully slept beside him, and Luka, who had for once fallen asleep after many hours of persuading on his part. His life was different now, more complicated, but that was for another entry…..

Yuki,

2010

**A/N: Dedicated to buecherwurm91 =)**


	5. Chapter 5

Entry 2,297

Dear Dairy,

It's been a while since I've last written to you and I am sorry it's taken us this long to reunite. I have so much to tell you. You won't believe that I no longer live at the orphanage, technically I had been planning to leave soon any way due to the fact that my turning 18 was soon approaching. So right now I'm living with some of my "brothers and sisters", if you consider the reincarnation of an old Giou clan for however many generations a family tie, but their the closest I've got. They're great to me, Tuskumo-kun and Toko-san-chan are always trying to make things as normal as possible knowing that what I'm going to need to do in order to win this upcoming war against said enemy Reiga. Yea that's another thing I may have to skim over for now, seeing as no one is giving much detail, afraid I may not be able to handle it or something. But I will find out eventually, even if that means having to go to Shuusei and Hotsuma, and that's saying something. It's not that the two of them are bad or anything, its just that it's really hard to get close to them. They close themselves off from the rest of us and seem only to rely on each other. I wish I could break that, get them to open up to the rest of us more, it would make thing so much easier for all of us. 

Easy for all of us. What I really think would be easier for all of us, would be if I would just remember everything on my own. Why is it that everyone else remembers their own reincarnations except me? Of course everyone just remembers the past me, the girl Yuki. She has been the one coming into my dreams more recently, haunting me, telling me we should comeback to one anther be as one. I would tell someone this but I can already hear what they'd say, "she's art of you, it's only natural" Really I don't believe she is me or part of me because I'm not her, never going to be her. Of course while thinking this it still doesn't stop me from having to remind Toko-chan that "no I'm not a girl anymore and you can not undress in front of me!". But Diary what am I supposed to do, it's not like I can tell them I don't want to be compared to her anymore, they love her, Luka loves her. I see those nostalgic looks he gives me every time I do something remotely like her out of subconscious habit, or the hurt that passes through his entire body when he realizes I can't remember him or the relationship we once had. I know they had something that can't be replaced, I can feel that, can't remember it but can feel it, and it hurts. So Diary I have come to a conclusion, I will remember, even if it hurts more knowing that they'll be happier when she's"back" but it's the least I can do for-

Yuki

June 27, 2010

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The knock on the door followed by a silent "Yuki" signaled the end of his journal writing. Hastily closing the said book and tucking it gently between the mattress he left to open the **now **unlocked door surprised to see Tachibana on the other side. Apparently he had written all through breakfast and it was now time for school. Grabbing his bag and passing Luka by the gate, he jumped into the car of Miss Shikibe-san about to say good morning only to have a piece of buttered bread stuffed into his face by a angry looking Luka and Toko-chan. Pleasing them he began to eat slowly wondering if this would all change when his memories returned.

**A/N: OMG Guys so sorry to everyone that's favorited or alerted that it's taken this long to upload. i've had this chapter in mind for a while now but never had time, also i haven't had any reviews so i didn't know if you were enjoying it or not sooo... yea hope you like this one as well. Also i am going on a trip whch means no Yaoi :( but i wll try to update when i get back i 2 weeks**

** Dedications:Verlorener Engel, Love-Less1313, and anyone else whose favorited of alerted =) thnx**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: (hides behind desk) Okay, Okay I know it's been FOREVER but forgive me I've had the longest writers block of my LIFE and I am just now getting back on track. So to make it up to you all I present you with a preview of the next chapter that I will be uploading really soon. Don't worry it will probably be longer than the others so I hope that you'll enjoy it. Also to anyone who as author alerted me, I am going to be writing a leverage fic soon so get ready for that as well =****D**

Entry 2,.487

Dear Diary.

The days are closing in closer than I thought...

Yuki

July 19, 2011


End file.
